A few days ago, I spent a good ten minutes tallying up the pros and cons of being on a relationship…


Your time ceases to be your own.
You can no longer live only for yourself
You can no longer pursue your interests, artistic or otherwise, whenever you want, however you want.
Relationships inevitably fail, leading to dissatisfaction, which leads to breakups, divorce and everything that goes with it.
Children are stressful, expensive, and invariably disappoint.
Sex is problematic for those of even moderate religious convictions, particularly the bits about having outside the bonds of matrimony.

At this point I gave up and got royally drunk. Upon sobering up the next morning, and suffering through a wine-induced hangover, I came to the realization that the great philosopher and observer of the human condition, Lilly Von Shtupp was correct: “Everything below ze vaist is kaput!”