The year – 2000 AD. A simpler time, when 3rd Edtion D&D stuill roamed the earth and life was so full of promise for your correspndent. Word spread that our beloved hobby, the balm for so many of use whgo preferred the wonders of imagination to the grubby reality of modern life, wa finally being given the Hollywood treatment. In we went, money in ahd (in a time when a full price move tcket did not cos the equivelant of a days pay.) Our hearts full of hope, our minds fired for the promise of the wonders too come.

Two hours later, we emerged, eyes wide with shock and minds resonating with a number of thoughts bouncing off the insides of our skulls.

The first – What the hell was that?

The second – How can I get those two hours of my life back (to say nothing of the 8 bucks for the ticket.)

The third – I guess Jeremy Irons really can give a crappy performance, if he puts in the effort.

The offender is, of course, the Dungeons and Dragons Movie. For you masochists out there, enjoy!

And yet the demon known as the Entertainment Industry decided this wasn’t enough, and for our viewing punishment created (direct to video) a sequel:

followed by a three-quel (fair warning, this one has naked female mammary glands):

It says something about the EXTREMELY low bar the first one set that the ensuring Direct-to-Video money grabs have a higher rating than the original theatrical release…